March 16, 2011
I wanted the man with the scar, He was fucking cute as hell, even with that scar over his eye. It made him seem tough, rough in a sweet boy next door kind of way. Josh always said I liked it rough. He was the one that introduced me to this world, the lights, and cameras. It was the glamour and glam of the rich and famous. Secretly it was exactly where I wanted to be.
I’m here ready to score big. I needed to get some fast. I felt my head spinning, hands began to shake. It was a matter of moments before I would do something drastic. I slowly stumbled over to the man, began to seduce him with my lips.
“What do you want trash”
“Want to give you a nice time, what you say…”
“Not interested, come on, give you a discount because your cute”
With one kick of his foot, I fell to the ground. He started pounding his fist into my face, blow after blow. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t.
Josh slept on a mattress on the floor. Listening to the noises that emerged after dark. A Siren blaring down the street probable heading toward the tenderloin he thought to himself. He wore his superman T-shirt and a pair of boxers from Delong’s. His red hair was slicked back, so the curls would stay out of his face. He walked over to the bathroom, hoping if he took a sleeping pill it would stop him from tossing and turning and help him sleep. Glancing in the mirror he noticed that one of his green eyes almost looked white if you looked at them from the side. Wow that was a scary… he turned off the light and headed back to bed.
He laid in his bed looking up at the ceiling, watching the lights flicker. He hated it when he couldn’t sleep, he had gone and seen a doctor but they just told him he had insomnia. He knew that this wasn’t natural, if anything he would get 2 hours of sleep. Something was going on, and he needed to figure it out quick. It was something he couldn’t let go of.
His phone buzzed at 3am, “who in the hell is calling me this late”
“May I speak to Jeff McGuire”, yes this is him” do you know someone by the name of Shannon O’Neal…umm ya” “we used to date a few months ago. Why what happened? Well she’s been beaten pretty bad and is in critical condition. “By whom” well we really don’t know, she was found lying on the corner of 5th and Cherry Street. Do you know if she has any family. We found your phone number on a piece of paper in her wallet.
“She just has a sister who lives in Maine” but I don’t know any of her information.
March 16, 2011
Nine months ago, after I graduated from college I found myself alone in the world and barely alive. I returned to California from North Carolina very broke because of a career move that I sought out for several months, that didn’t pan out. I found myself feeling hopeless, which feed into my isolation. I knew I wanted the pain to stop, but I’m 35 with no set career path in my life. I’m a wasted life.
I stood in front of the Stud bar, “what am I doing here” “I can’t” that’s the last thing I remember.
The smells of liqueur engulfed my nostrils I felt sick, but consumed with hunger my mouth started to water I could taste the brandy kissing my lips tempting me, the urge was too huge to ignore I needed it, I wanted it.. Just one last time.
“What can I get you?”
“Brandy on the rocks”
He sat the drink in front of me I could see the square-shaped ice cubes floating in the dark liqueur, I couldn’t resist any longer,( I was here wasn’t I, I already ordered the drink, might as well enjoy it right?) with one quick motion I grabbed the glass and drank like there was no tomorrow. The sweet tingling taste ran down my throat . “God this is what I’ve been missing” I had forgotten how good it made me feel. It was like I found a piece of me that I had lost. You could say this was the beginning of the end. I drank myself to near death,
March 16, 2011
This place saved me, it was my salvation. Not sure where I would be, if it weren’t for Blue Rock. I wasn’t always this way. I had the beautiful home, with the husband and children. The prefect job, working four days a week, it’s what everyone dreams about I had it. Till that rainy summer night in June when everything changed. I wanted to be treated like it wasn’t my fault. The guilt I felt, the pain I had to live with for the rest of my life. I took that girls life.
I sat in the living room, looking out the window, waiting for the rain to stop. When was it going to stop, the streets were beginning to collect water along the sides. I didn’t want it to flood.
It had rained like this once before, many years ago. It’s when it all started. I closed my eyes and began to imagine the terror of that night. I didn’t want to begin to remember what happened. “No, STOP NO… Found myself screaming” It couldn’t flood, I had no, where to go.
Where was I going to go? The thought of not knowing where I was going to go, frighten me. Chills began to crawl up my spine.
I saw the night watchmen Jeff. I walked over to him and asked “is it going to flood?” “no Shannon” and if it does where all heading to the upper houses on the far eastside of blue rock.”
Jeff walked away to talk to one of the nurses, who was waving him over. I walked back to the couch and watched the rain patter on the window.