Nine months ago, after I graduated from college I found myself alone in the world and barely alive. I returned to California from North Carolina very broke because of a career move that I sought out for several months, that didn’t pan out. I found myself feeling hopeless, which feed into my isolation. I knew I wanted the pain to stop, but I’m 35 with no set career path in my life. I’m a wasted life.

I stood in front of the Stud bar, “what am I doing here” “I can’t” that’s the last thing I remember.

The smells of liqueur engulfed my nostrils I felt sick, but consumed with hunger my mouth started to water I could taste the brandy kissing my lips tempting me, the urge was too huge to ignore I needed it, I wanted it.. Just one last time.

“What can I get you?”

“Brandy on the rocks”

“Coming up”

He sat the drink in front of me I could see the square-shaped ice cubes floating in the dark liqueur, I couldn’t resist any longer,( I was here wasn’t I, I already ordered the drink, might as well enjoy it right?) with one quick motion I grabbed the glass and drank like there was no tomorrow. The sweet tingling taste ran down my throat . “God this is what I’ve been missing” I had forgotten how good it made me feel. It was like I found a piece of me that I had lost. You could say this was the beginning of the end. I drank myself to near death,